All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
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