Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
