This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
