dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
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