literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
