I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
