i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
