So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
