y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
