So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
