He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
