Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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