P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
