What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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