Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize