you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
