Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
