Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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