Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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