i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
