Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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