Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
