Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
its not stalking. its research.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Can I color on your dick again?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
