is your mom at the bar?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
two words: eviction party
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Randomize
