The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i out mim tonsoeep
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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