Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
