I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
