This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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