he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My bed smells like the plague
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize