Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize