I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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