found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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