I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
