Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize