Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
