I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
