I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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