so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize