I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
