U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
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