Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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