You're so nebulous sometimes
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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