i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
its liver damage thursday
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
