I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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