I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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