I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize