so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Randomize
