Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
