Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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