ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
