I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
