fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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