mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
