And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
