Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
