in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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