im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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