I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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